Archive for the 'SkiChicken Truths' Category

What time do the slopes close at copper mountain

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

A reader recently found our website by searching Google for an answer to one of the most important questions a skichicken reader can ask: “What time do the slopes close at copper mountain?” Too Damn Early, that’s what time.

The upper lifts close at 3:30pm, the lower lifts at 4pm. Reader, if you are still out there wondering, there’s still time. But leave now!

Just a side note: I was up on Copper Mountain yesterday, and it was dreamy. The snow was perfect, the weather was perfect. It was somewhat busy for a Monday, but those little hidden mountain places were still so quit, and so beautiful.

As I approached the American flyer lift for my final run, I thought “If you don’t keep getting on the lift until 4:01pm, it’s just another form of self hatred.”

SkiChicken Truths: God wouldn’t have made snow slippery if we weren’t supposed to ski on it

Wednesday, December 26th, 2007

Ski Chicken Truth: God wouldn’t have made snow slippery if we weren’t supposed to ski on it.

Think of that amazing thing we know as snow. It’s just water, silly. Slippery, sweet water. It lubricates the skis through a little process I call magic. And it dumps upon the mountains. Oodles and oodles of the stuff. Powdery goodness from above, falling every day like Manna did for Moses.

Many people have probably wondered: Are we supposed to ski? Of course! Have you experienced the awesome wonder of creation, looking down from the Cirque at Snowmass? If not, drop EVERYTHING right now and get yer ass up there.

Still here? Shame on you.

Guinness Health Effects: Prevents Blood Clots

Saturday, December 22nd, 2007

There is a new study in showing Guinness protects as well as Aspirin against blood clots. So let me ask – why are we wasting our money on Aspirin? Let’s do a quick comparison:
Aspirin: Prevents Blood Clots
Guinness: Prevents Blood Clots, is tasty.

Aspirin: Stops headaches
Guinness: Probably also stops headaches, provides refreshment.

Aspirin: White in color, devoid of pigment and liveliness
Guinness: Rich in pigment, rich in frothy goodness

Aspirin: Probably makes your stomach bleed and gives you rheumatic fever
Guinness: Coats your stomach lining, protecting you against even the hottest chicken wings.

As you leave the mountain and prepare to board that long plane ride home, know that last pint of guinness is coursing through your veins, lovingly protecting your arteries against a clot!

SkiChicken Truths: What is snow?

Friday, December 21st, 2007

I was just explaining to my son what snow was. Often times we plan out what we are going to say, thinking rationally about it, examining it factually, emotionally, logically, and in other ways. But I’ve found when explaining things to my toddler, these truths just come out. And so, I present a new feature on The SkiChicken Truths. The first of which is: “Snow is like a friend that you ski on.”