Archive for the 'funny news' Category

What time do the slopes close at copper mountain

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

A reader recently found our website by searching Google for an answer to one of the most important questions a skichicken reader can ask: “What time do the slopes close at copper mountain?” Too Damn Early, that’s what time.

The upper lifts close at 3:30pm, the lower lifts at 4pm. Reader, if you are still out there wondering, there’s still time. But leave now!

Just a side note: I was up on Copper Mountain yesterday, and it was dreamy. The snow was perfect, the weather was perfect. It was somewhat busy for a Monday, but those little hidden mountain places were still so quit, and so beautiful.

As I approached the American flyer lift for my final run, I thought “If you don’t keep getting on the lift until 4:01pm, it’s just another form of self hatred.”

Guinness Health Effects: Prevents Blood Clots

Saturday, December 22nd, 2007

There is a new study in showing Guinness protects as well as Aspirin against blood clots. So let me ask – why are we wasting our money on Aspirin? Let’s do a quick comparison:
Aspirin: Prevents Blood Clots
Guinness: Prevents Blood Clots, is tasty.

Aspirin: Stops headaches
Guinness: Probably also stops headaches, provides refreshment.

Aspirin: White in color, devoid of pigment and liveliness
Guinness: Rich in pigment, rich in frothy goodness

Aspirin: Probably makes your stomach bleed and gives you rheumatic fever
Guinness: Coats your stomach lining, protecting you against even the hottest chicken wings.

As you leave the mountain and prepare to board that long plane ride home, know that last pint of guinness is coursing through your veins, lovingly protecting your arteries against a clot!

SkiChicken Truths: What is snow?

Friday, December 21st, 2007

I was just explaining to my son what snow was. Often times we plan out what we are going to say, thinking rationally about it, examining it factually, emotionally, logically, and in other ways. But I’ve found when explaining things to my toddler, these truths just come out. And so, I present a new feature on The SkiChicken Truths. The first of which is: “Snow is like a friend that you ski on.”

The Great Guinness Beer Heist

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

It wasn’t me. I have witnesses that can place me in the USA at the time. Apparently, someone stole more than $200,000 worth of Guinness. It sounds like they just pulled up and collected kegs. I didn’t know you could just pull up in a truck and get beer. It’s a good idea.
All in all, 39,600 pints of beer are missing. No one got a good look at the man who took it either. The retail value of the beer was over $235,000!
I bet it was my ski buddy Mike.