Archive for the 'weird news' Category

Snow Rage: Don’t let it happen to you

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

This morning I saw an article about “Snow Rage” happening up in Quebec, Canada: That’s right, the French speaking ones. People sometimes get so busy trying to get from home to work and work to home, that they forget how wonderful snow is. We at skichicken central headquarters have devised a 4 step plan to help our readers respond to feeling of snow rage in appropriate ways:

1. Launch your body into the air toward a snow drift
It will lighten your mood and remind you of the thrill of being airborn. Snow was actually invented just to be a slippery cushion of fun. It’s in the Bible: Look it up. It’s somewhere in the front.

2. Go skiing or snowboarding in Colorado
Colorado has the freshest air, and the best snow for skiing and snowboarding. Your feelings of snow rage are actually from breathing city air and taking your life too seriously. It’s time to get back to nature. It’s time to purify your body, starting with crisp, clean mountain air. You need breathtaking views, slippery snowy goodness, and the experience that IS Colorado ski country. Find some remote part of Copper Mountain Ski Resort, or Snowmass, and just ENJOY.

3. Snow dance
Hey – you’re not going anywhere any time soon. Might as well enjoy yourself. Dance to celebrate the snow, or it’s melting. What you are snow dancing for is up to you – just break out in a snow dance and let it improve everyone’s mood!

4. Chill
Stand there. Slow down – no one expects you to be on time with that storm. Take your time, examine a few snowflakes if you need to. They’ll be gone before they know it, and so will you.

Guinness Health Effects: Prevents Blood Clots

Saturday, December 22nd, 2007

There is a new study in showing Guinness protects as well as Aspirin against blood clots. So let me ask – why are we wasting our money on Aspirin? Let’s do a quick comparison:
Aspirin: Prevents Blood Clots
Guinness: Prevents Blood Clots, is tasty.

Aspirin: Stops headaches
Guinness: Probably also stops headaches, provides refreshment.

Aspirin: White in color, devoid of pigment and liveliness
Guinness: Rich in pigment, rich in frothy goodness

Aspirin: Probably makes your stomach bleed and gives you rheumatic fever
Guinness: Coats your stomach lining, protecting you against even the hottest chicken wings.

As you leave the mountain and prepare to board that long plane ride home, know that last pint of guinness is coursing through your veins, lovingly protecting your arteries against a clot!

The Great Guinness Beer Heist

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

It wasn’t me. I have witnesses that can place me in the USA at the time. Apparently, someone stole more than $200,000 worth of Guinness. It sounds like they just pulled up and collected kegs. I didn’t know you could just pull up in a truck and get beer. It’s a good idea.
All in all, 39,600 pints of beer are missing. No one got a good look at the man who took it either. The retail value of the beer was over $235,000!
I bet it was my ski buddy Mike.